"Hear me, four quarters of the world - a relative I am!
Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is! Give me the eyes to see and the strength to understand, that I may be like you. With your power only can I face the winds."
--Black Elk
14 Nov 2008 - Selfish little clot of randomness
Dear Diary,
I haven't been up to very much lately because of caring for mom and family responsibilities. Don't have a lot of focus on any particular thing right now. Doing the 100 day challenge on cocreatingreality.com has been pretty fun. And decided it better to shut myself off from the world for a little while to force myself to work on those overdue writing projects.
I have also been working with teens on relationships and activities that matter most. Casual writing is great but once you realize it is time to move on to something else like writing professionally the passion wanes on and off.
I am tired of my joy being zapped and stolen by a selfish little clot of randomness.
I became obsessed with finality when I discovered that the average person at age 40 only has approximately 2,000 weeks left of their life if they are n the average. Well damn, that just puts a kink in things now doesn't it.
I wonder if scientists ever worry that after they die if their hard work will have been in vain. No wonder so many of them kept journals. I lost my journal password for http://Quantummetaphysics.deardiary.net so I copied and pasted everything into my new journal at http://www.xanga.com/QuantumMetaphysics
Mostly saving things I have learned and watched about string theory.
I have been suffering with painful bought of back trouble and spine pain lately. I did about five hours worth of work the other day and couldn't even walk the next day.
All I can think of is that I must have hurt it in some way or threw something out of whack or pinched something or another within the last six months to be feeling it so strongly now.
I have seen another doctor and she doesn't really know what to do other than give me some muscle spasm pills that work one day but not the darn next. She did admit that I have major muscle spasms and pain from the fibromyalgia in my arms. I would give anything for a nerve block.
I took this corny test yesterday.
Your Discipline Results As a very disciplined person, your life runs like a well-oiled machine. People who know you may think you are excessively organized, but secretly they wish they shared your level of discipline.
Discipline is your ability to set goals, manage your time, accomplish what’s important, measure the results, and maintain an overall balance in life. Without discipline, achievement grinds to a halt.
Your Passion Results As a very passionate individual, you're ready to take on the world. The greater the challenge, the greater your accomplishment. You’re going to make a difference in this world, and people know it.
Hard work will start you toward your goal. But it’s the passion to press on no matter what obstacles are in your way that’s going to lead you to achievement. Every time. People who live in the two have a continuous flow of passion.
Your Risk Results A risk-taker at heart, your test results show that you tend to thrive when challenged. And while your willingness to tackle a new adventure may get your adrenaline pumping, at times it can be your greatest weakness.
Risk is a measure of your willingness to step out of your "comfort zone." Success often requires change, and the road is often paved with new challenges that defy complacency. Those not willing to change live a life like everyone else. And those who accept risk get to live like no one else.
Your Optimism Results Judging by your results, you have a pretty good attitude about life. You enjoy the time you spend with others, but there are times you just wish to be alone. You prefer to surround yourself with a smaller group of positive people rather than many.
You are what you think about, so it’s no surprise that happy people are, well, just happier. And those who tend to be more positive usually benefit from more success, more satisfying relationships, and more wealth. This category of optimism includes both internal and external sources of positive affirmation (e.g., self-esteem, confidence, self-image, spirituality).
Your Interpersonal Skills Results Your test results show that your interpersonal skills shine in just about any situation, whether at work, at home, or with friends. You've mastered the art of building relationships and now use it to your advantage. Your charismatic, people-first nature will take you far in life.
Relationships are pivotal to your overall success. These include not only your personal relationships, but also your ability to deal with people. Negotiating. Selling. Public speaking. Regardless of your trade, these factors are all necessary for ultimate success.
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