Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.
~Lao Tzu Dear Diary,
It has been a very disgruntling week.
I got no days off followed by overtime and no days off. It isn't easy for me to be so short on time.
Did I mention no days off? Oh I did>?< well blah. I lost $40 between the car and the time clock. Luckily I walked back out and found it within five minutes so I swear I will never lose that much money again.
Fidgeting and squirming all week long, Little Fawn brought home a funky stomach virus which I have been fighting for a few days now only to succumb to it this afternoon after working a ten hour shift. I was so mad at someone that I work with that I told her if she didn't stop doing what she was doing I was going to give her two black eyes. I meant it. She really pushes all of my wrong buttons.
My stomach churned and gurgled all day with the inner fear that I was going to have to run to the bathroom at any moment to hurl but luckily I made it home before the bad stomach pains took over. I didn't get sick but I feel drained and really weak and my stomach hurts really bad. I wish to win the lottery because the way I feel I don't ever want to go to work again! But I know I have to no matter how sucky it gets. And to make matters worse, everything I eat has that metallic corn-starchy taste and I sneeze constantly. boo-hoo-hoo-wy! I wish I had a hug right now :(
I am psyched about the neighbor giving me the cute little red stained deck to place down at the creek. It looks great! I mowed then placed it right on the bank. I laid down on the yoga mat and Little Fawn came to lay down on my arm and we watched the pretty blue sky together through the maple tree leaves swaying above us. Then we drifted off into a mellow nap together. We awoke later in a variable festoon of bugs that had tried to hitch rides back home with us but were caught just in time before succeeding in their plots against us.
My week ended with "Eva do this, Eva do that" with no patience at all but everyone in the store was feeling the wake of the same ocean as the steamboats kept chugging right by. It was hard for us all to keep up with the excess work. I had a dream that was sweeter than dough-nuts last night as I explored new and daring sexual positions in my sleep. My internal feng shui is at its peak! And then when I was done with that yummy dream, I dreamed about chocolate. Which is the same thing as an orgasm only more fattening. and less filling.
Speaking of restless and figity.....
I have tried again with the butt exercises. Are they working I wonder? How will I know if they are or not? I can't see my ass.
Does this entry make my butt look fat to you? Or maybe it is the darn chocolate that makes this entry look fat? Oh Darn! The electric is about to go out again. Can those storms leave me alone please! I have too much to say to be stifled now. I am on a roll.
The worst news of all this week is that our precious little turtle relations died- most likely from the heat.
I had plenty of water for them and food so all it could have been is the heat. I felt so ashamed and guilty that I didn't bring them back inside once it got hot that I couldn't even tell Little Fawn what happened to them. I concocted a plan/=(white lie) and I said that I took them down to the creek and let them go free so she wouldn't be as heart broken as I was when I discovered them limp beneath the shade trees. The first question I knew she was going to ask was what about Pearl, which was her favorite and named after Miss Lisa's mother at the daycare because she was so sweet and polite. I felt like the worst mother in the whole world as my tongue turned to rubber but I couldn't hurt her or break her little six year old heart like that by telling her the truth that we would never see poor little Pearl again.
I must have been more attached to the little dear than I had originally thought because as I carried her to bury her I cried like a newborn baby. I prayed for her and cried, prayed and cried more, then cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. My friend made the drab comment "it was a turtle??!!!" and that made me cry all over again. I could say "Heyyyy Pearl" as I walked by her and she would follow me like a dog waiting for her food. The fact that she was super intelligent makes it hurt all the more. A few hours later we walked together and found several other turtles and one of them was a baby, which made us both happy and my heart a little more peaceful knowing poor Pearl is in a better place. I value the sacredness of all life and I will remember her always. Sometimes one becomes caught up and forgets the law of nature until it is time to let go of someone we love.
The good news is I bought a juicer this week. A really big powerful one that works super! It is big enough to grind whole apples in one simple motion. Now mom gets an apple-spinach-carrot juice drink every morning and I get an apple-spirulina-carrot juice and Little Fawn gets a pineapple carrot juice for her breakfast drink on top of me adding some juice from wild violets to our soups for anti-cancer diets.
My back has really been hurting lately. I am so tired and really need to schedule a massage as soon as I get a day off after getting paid to release the pain and just relax. I'm wearing nothing but my jammies tomorrow. oh yea. you can bank on that.
Little Fawn collected about twenty-five cans this week. I am of course helping with her college fund but she is learning to work so that the extra money that she earns from collecting cans will help her in the long run. Sharing the time together does more good for the two of us than just eliminating litter along the roadside. She is learning slowly to follow in her mother's footsteps and leave her ego at the door.
All is well.
You are loved.
Alowan,
Aho Mitakuye' Oyasin,
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