Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speechDear Diary,
I have given home Microdermabrasion a try and with Neutragena's new system I really like the results. I guess until they make bondo legal to use on your face with a sander and grinder then it will have to be enough for now. I refuse to succumb to being an old leather handbag looking woman so I am going to nip the starting wrinkles in the bud right now before it is too late! The kit worked well on mom too. Which is the best result I could get with her bad skin and lack of paying attention to using any kind of oil or moisture on her skin since Moses roamed the earth.
I received Biggy's ashes in a beautiful urn with a precious letter attached to it. I promised Miss Virginia that I wouldn't open the special letter until the passing of her golden retriever Winston as she read her letter to me on the day that Biggy was put down. I have put the urn away for now because it is still too soon to look upon it without tears. But I do intend to keep my word and build a small shrine this spring.
I am still in a kind of fog as to everything that has been happening lately. No time to do anything. Not even reflect. This is how life passes by. I am still in the melancholy mood and have been for a few weeks now. I felt helpless as I had to sit watching my friend die of cancer.
As I looked at Lead dog's new rabies tag I realized that his birthday was in January and now he is ten years old too. He had to spend the whole day on the road with me and never complained one time like he used to. If dog's could say "Are we f-ing there yet?" he would have coined the phrase in his younger days. But it is not just him. All of my animals are now in their senior years.
It broke my heart to tell Little Fawn that we will have to watch the rest of them die as well when it is their time. Hopefully I won't have to ever put another down because that was my first dog in twenty-eight years of breeding that I had to have euthanized and I don't want to ever have to do it again.
Having to watch as the life slowly drains out of your dog's body is painful emotionally. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
While I was in the vet clinic with Lead dog for his check up and I overheard a man talking about his dog being lost for a while then some people brought it back for the reward money and when they did it never acted right again. The vet said that the poor thing had been used as a meth dog and needed to be put down but he couldn't do it to his best friend so he was going to try to tough it out, even knowing each day could be the dog's last. The dog had lost total control of its bladder and mostly just stayed in one spot shaking. It knew the guy right away and went to him and that is why he couldn't put it down. How painfully cruel.
I am not one to be a sadist but the people who make the drugs that would do that need their own eyes burned out for now making dogs and people junkies off of that crap. Will people never learn the lesson that it is ok to be normal? Since when did being normal mean that *we* are the crazy ones because we don't use stuff. To me, going to get some Coke means going to get some two liter bottles or some cans of Coke. Slowly, Little Fawn is learning what drugs do to people and how they would affect her if she ever tries them. If you don't do drugs your kids won't.
Now I am taking the family one more notch up by removing the gluten, casein, sugar, and yeast from our diets substituting our flour for rice flour. The yeast free bread tastes more filling than regular bread and Little Fawn has gotten used to the taste of yogurt shakes and smoothies for breakfast. That took some time on my part.
I really don't enjoy writing here the way I once did. I have blog burnout or something. Kind of like weaning myself off of sugar but a lot less satisfying.
You are loved.
All is well.
![[Powered By MySQL]](/images/mysql-04.gif)
Copyright Notice: All entries are copyright (and the responsibility of) their respective authors.
