What was in that candle's light
that opened and consumed me so quickly?
Come back, my friend! The form of our love
is not a created form.
Nothing can help me but that beauty.
There was a dawn I remember
when my soul heard something from your soul.
I drank water from your spring and felt the current take me.
~RumiDear Diary,
I have been to Chattanooga three times in three days simply because I want to! What a beautiful place to go.
There was a little traffic but there was plenty of sights to see and things to talk about along the way.
I am so very happy today. Not the kind of happiness that can be pacified by buying things or shopping but seeing the Chattanooga mountains for the first time since childhood. I took the scenic route and my eyes began to tear as I gazed at them in the predawn glow. It is hard for words to even describe the experience fully. For you to grasp the magnitude of it you would have to understand my mind in its wholeness. Has it been so lovingly close by this whole time and I just didn't notice it because of driving a car that couldn't make it that far and back?
It is something more familiar than a childhood memory. More a remembrance of the primordial earth that I am created from.
I am this. You are this. We are this. All is this. This kind of day makes me so glad to be alive. It removes the abandoning shadows of gloom from all other days past. This is what the masters mean by true Ecstasy. The sun rose as a giant orange globe on the Eastern horizon, holding me captivated by it's size, which made it seem to be only a few miles away.
There has been such a thick frost on the ground the last few mornings that it closely resembles a thin sheet of snow. After a long hot summer it feels nice to bundle up when going outside. Kind of odd seeing the foggy mist rises up from the creek early in the mornings and makes the creek look like an ice skating rink for fairies because the ice is so thin. This morning it is followed by a shower of rain causing the sky to remain gray. I am awake. I am one with the Universe.
Speaking of this and that, something else entirely came to mind.....while looking for my new car I found a gorgeous boat that was christened Viagra. Can you imagine that one. That one's sails must stay up all day long in a gust! Viagra. whodathunkit!
Anyway yesterday was not so long and crazy as I expected it to be. The van is a 1995 Blue Dodge Caravan in almost new condition.
Tires are great and the oil looks clear as honey. I was very impressed with the whole transaction on that one. On the way home we stopped at a place and they had tons of wild bamboo growing in their ditch so we brought a couple of them home with us. maybe they will multiply and I will have my bamboo forest yet! huvahh! Went by McKay's books on the way back home and spent a small fortune on books that I have really been wanting. I mostly buy teachings of the masters, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and whatever healing books they may have plus Little Fawn got herself a few Christmas games for the x-box so we are as happy as chipmunks today.
I am a little disappointed in the fact that after all of that medicine for months now I still am not getting any better. I feel better but it still feels like my throat is infected with the strep throat. I am going to have to call the doc again to see if I can get a renewal on the mouth rinse for that one. The lady that worked in pharmacy said that it didn't help her throat either. Really, it could be ecoli or something and I can't wait to get better. Everyone at the store that I talk to now has or have had it within the last six or so months. What the hell is it if it is so resistant to medicines? I am tired of feeling sick.
I got another note from his girl asking why "if tony did all those rotten things could I possibly still love him?" and I wrote her back saying that my only wish for him is to stop using the stuff. does she honestly think I could begin to make all of the things up?
Borrow the beloved's eyes. Look through them and you will see the beloved's face.
Well I am taking a mid morning nap.
nighty-o.
All is well.
You are loved.
Aho Mitakuye' Oyasin,